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Millennials and Marriage: Part 2- The Wedding

October 11, 2015

 So you made it to the wedding which means you two want to get married!  Awesome!  No, seriously, that's amazing!  Marriage is by far the most beautiful thing a couple can do besides bring life into this world.  I mean, you share something that many people are so afraid of.  But hey, y'all are here.  Today, you two are set to embark on a journey of love, peace, and happiness.  Shit is about to get so real now.  Nothing to be afraid of though.  Okay, I think it's time to get this thing rolling!  


 Okay, you may all be seated.  Do you all mind if I preach a bit?  (Hopefully, you all said yes!)  Today, we are gathered here to witness a union between two souls that God has brought together.  With love, love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love knows no boundaries.  Marriage is the same way.  Marriage is patient.  I mean, marriage should be patient.  Marriage is kind.  I mean, marriage isn't always kind.  Marriage knows no boundaries.  However, we make the mistakes of adding boundaries to it.  Think about when you first met.  Rather think about the first date.  Remember how much fun you had?  Obviously, it went well because there was a second and third date, and now you are here.  In other words, never forget why you both are together.  


Marriage is one of those commitments that is bound by faith.  What I mean by faith is believing that your spouse is in it for you and only you.  Also, you have to believe that you will stay true to why you chose to get married.  Sometimes, we get a bit forgetful.  I mean, we are only human.  But we should always come back to reality and never forget.  The greatest gift you share in this journey is the growth you both will experience.  A big part of marriage is growth and development.  Learning and growing can be a challenge, but anything worth having is worth working for.  It's like a job, or better yet, it can be compared to being an athlete.  You work hard to court each other.  Then, you get married.  Wedding day is like draft day.  Your marriage license is like your first contract.  Your wedding band is like the hat the players put on when they get chosen by their respective franchise.


 I mean you did choose each other, right?  Now, you have to treat everyday like practice and be prepared for any hardship that may come your way.  Hardships are like game days.  Preparation and attention to detail allows you two to win.  When you stop learning, however, you set yourself up for disaster.  Divorce is like terminating a contract, and everyday you are playing for an extension.  So do you want that franchise changer, or do want to be back at the drawing board in five years?  You can have a Shaquille O'Neal like marriage where not only both of you have a hall of fame marriage, but you are the envy of all marriages.  Or, you can have that Anthony Bennett marriage.  That's that marriage that flames out quickly because it just wasn't meant to be.





Marriage is a bond that no man or woman should be allowed to break.  Marriage is sacred.  Marriage is supposed to be shared between you, your spouse, and what ever god you serve. I know we get frustrated, and marriage is frustrating.  I mean very frustrating.  However, you do not, I REPEAT, do not invite others into your problems.  This list includes: parents, single friends, single relatives, sorority sisters, frat brothers, the barber, the beautician, the lady at the grocery store, the dude at work.  You talk to no one.  It's always good to have a mutual friend that is preferably married because they can serve as a mediator without having a bias to either party.  Otherwise, seek counsel.  Just keep this all to yourself.  There is an analogy out there about being married and spreading your business.  The more people you invite in your marriage, the more people you bring to bed with you.  Nobody wants to sleep in a crowded bed.  Does that make sense?


When all else fails, refer to the book of Ginuwine or the book Chris Brown.  It ain't none of your friends business!  They don't know 'bout y'all!  Keep it that way and keep outsiders out!  Misery loves company.  The world has enough miserble people.  Don't give them anything to gossip about.  Marriage is pure.  It's like a cup of cold water.  However, one drop of ink can ruin the entire glass.  


Before we exchange rings, there is one more big thing you have to remember.  Communication and compromise is key.  We have to express ourselves.  We have to express ourselves when we are feeling happy, sad, angry, or intimate.  Ain't no mind readers around here.  The worst thing you can say to a person is "I thought you knew."  Well, no.  We don't know.  Communication opens so many doors.  You can fix a small problem before it gets out of hand.  Holding in your emotions and issues can erupt, and then the problem never gets fixed because you are too withdrawn to even work out whatever issue you may have.  It can be as small as you not getting a cup when you grab some juice.  He or she may be sick of you drinking out of the bottle.  What can easily be "Hey babe, can you please grab a cup next time?  I don't like it when you do that.  Plus, what if we have guests and they're thirsty?" (I was being politically correct.  Insert your own caption)  However, when you bottle that up, it can turn into "You know what?  You get on my goddamn nerves with that drinking out the bottle shit!  You so damn ignorant!  You are selfish and you don't respect anything around here!  You know what? You are just selfish and disrespectful, period!" (That has happened before somewhere, I'm sure LOL) 


All that is over some juice, but it can be about more than just juice.  It can be about anything.  That's just a fun example.  The point is, speak on how you feel.  Also, remember you have to be willing to compromise.  When in war, don't be afraid to lose some battles.  Sometimes, to keep the peace, you have to give in even when you don't want to.  If she wants to watch a movie, but your game is on, watch that movie and score watch on your phone.  If he wants to watch the game, fall asleep on his shoulder.  Trust me, he won't mind.  At the end of the day, you both win.  You get to spend time together.  They'll replay that movie or game, but time between you two can never be paused or replayed.  To all the grooms out there though, keep this in mind.  Happy wife, happy life.  That is so cliche', but it is so true.  All wars have casualties, but if you can find a happy median, everyone wins.


Now, it's time to exchange the rings.


Repeat after me:


-With this ring, I vow to never share our private moments on social media.


-I will not put a condition on my love or this marriage because uncoditional love has no conditions.


-For richer or poorer, I will be there.


-I will be there through sickness and in health.


-I will remain faithful to you and to myself.


-I will not allow outside influences to influence my decisions, good or bad.


-I will love you today, tomorrow, and for all of eternity.


With the journalism powers invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!  You may now salute your wife!  (The crowd goes crazy!)  





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