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Millennials and Marriage: Part 3- The Honeymoon

October 22, 2015

 

 

 

Okay!  Y'all finally jumped the broom!  Y'all are married now!  Congratulations on the nuptials.  This is the fun part.  Everything is brand new.  Your wife looks beautiful every waking second.  Your husband is the most handsome man on this planet.  You two still act like little kids, and that's awesome.  You two are the new hot topic at family gatherings.  The pictures are back.  The gifts are opened.  The money is spent.  The "Thank You" cards are mailed off.  You all just spent a week in some wonderful paradise loving on one another.  This is the HONEYMOON!      

 

Out of all of the levels of marriage, this is the shortest time.  Honestly, it should never be.  This is the best part.  Why would you want to shorten the best time of your life?  Unfortunately, today's married couples do.  First of all, a lot of newlyweds don't go on honeymoons anymore, and if they do, it's short.  It usually lasts a couple days if they do go.  The point of all of this is that you should enjoy this time.  I mean after all, you just got married.  Now, let's get keep it positive.  Y'all came for some advice, right?  Okay.  

 

It's time to plan!  

 

How about we start with the biggest cause of divorce.  As a couple, you have to realize that all of your money is shared.  Every move you make has to be done with your spouse in mind.  When you decide on who pays which bills, that's a joint decision.  When you two decide to buy a new vehicle, that's a joint decision.  When you two decide to purchase a home, that is a joint decision.  Everything has to be done with your spouse's best interests at heart.  I know that is a bit much, but understand something.  Most marriages now end because of financial strife.  We live in a society where every dream can be seen on social media.  Most of the dreams we see are showing people flaunting flashy outfits, cars, and nightlife.  That shit ain't y'all!  I mean, it can be if you two have it, but don't get caught up in it.  Unfortunately, some do.  Needless to say, financial planning is important.   

 

Setting goals is an effective way of planning.  The two of you should come up with individual goals and couples goals.  Sit down and construct a solid five-year plan.  Here's an example.

 

Year 1:  If you are not in the career of your choice, make that a top priority.  Some marriages start out young.  Some couples get married fresh out of college.  This first year is crucial.  This is where the marriage can become make or break unfortunately.  So, get out there and find that career of your dreams.

 

Year 2:  This is the year you both clear up any debt.  Student loans are mounting.  Credit cards may be out of control.  This is the year that you take back control of your finances.  Remember, every move you two make has to be done together.  Mounting debt can lead to poor financial decision making.  It is the job of the other half to help you make better decisions.  I know you have worked hard to earn your money.  However, pass some of the blessing over to your spouse.  This is a team effort.  When you win, so does the team.  Clear that debt!

 

Year 3:  It is time to stop renting!  It is time to become an owner!  Now that you have hopefully followed the first two steps, it is time to buy a home.  Having property together opens so many doors.  Not to mention, you have something to potentially pass off to your children.

 

Year 4:  After you have your job, finances, and home in order, its time to fill those rooms.  It is time for the pitter-patter of little feet.  You all want children, or at least most of you.  Start gettin' busy, and knock some boots!  Go half on a baby!  

 

Year 5:  Live.  Keep living.

 

Okay, you are probably thinking, "This is impossible".  It's not.  I promise.  This is only an example.  Every plan will not be the same.  The point is that planning is crucial.

 

Now that we have discussed finances, let's quickly tackle another marriage responsibility.  Continue to date.  Always make time for your spouse.  I mean sitting at home is cool every now and then, but go out show off your love.  We get busy with work, school, etc.  That's fine, but make sure you set aside a day for just you and better half.  Saturday night is date night.  That should be in stone.  Whether it's a movie and dinner, or ice cream and shopping, do something together.  Never let finances get in your way either.  (There goes that F word)  Set aside a fund for fun.  Put twenty bucks aside.  Something!  You should never have an excuse to not date.  Don't let the fire burn out.  Plus, it's a confidence booster.  When you two go out and paint the town red, you are showing the world who you love and dedicated your life to.  The ring is symbol of the nuptials, but love of your life on your arm is for all of the world to see.  Be a show off.  Tell her she's beautiful.  Tell him he looks good.  You'd be surprised how far that small compliment can go.  

 

Lastly, have sex.  Be intimate.  This is a HUGE killer of marriage.  Try new things in the bedroom.  Be limitless.  Never judge.  Keep the spice going in the marriage.  It can be lingerie and heels, ladies.  It can be wearing her favorite cologne to bed and those underwear she enjoys seeing you in.  Hell, at the end of the night, all of that will in a corner of the bedroom anyway!  Be spontaneous.  Do not, I repeat, do not set your sex life on a schedule.  It shows that you have really have no time for your spouse.  Interrupt that man's game, and start halftime early.  Interrupt her bathtime, and wash her back and front.  Be free and limitless sexually.  

 

 So enjoy the honeymoon.  Never let the honey comb get dry.  Most importantly, never stop being friends.  If that honey comb gets dry though, beware because it might, well... Nevermind.

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